ANNUAL SERMON: The Destructive Power of our Words

By Terry Kimbrow, President • Central Baptist College

      I am a loser! I really am! I’m always misplace my keys and glasses (sometimes they're on my face). I probably spend hours each year looking for the TV remote! And yes, I occasionally forget where I parked my car. As for my iPhone, I have an Apple Watch, and the best feature is that it helps me locate my phone. I’m just waiting for a new, improved model to track my other belongings. It would definitely make my life easier. I know I could get AirTags for everything, but I haven’t gone to that extreme yet. These issues are trivial challenges in the grand scheme of life. It’s part of aging, and I’m convinced it’s also due to overcommitment and a lack of margin. So, I rationalize these things as minor inconveniences.

      But I have also been known to lose other things — my temper, my cool and my ability to control what I say — my words. Most times, that is inexcusable, sometimes unforgivable, but at worst times, it causes irreparable damage.

         “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits” (Prov. 18:21). The Contemporary English Version (CEV) puts it like this:“Words can bring death or life! Talk too much, and you will eat everything you say.”

      James has much to say about the tongue and our words. I will focus our thoughts tonight on James 3:1-10 as we explore “The Destructive Power of Our Words.”

         “Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs.  So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessings and cursings; Brothers, these things should not be so” (James 3:1-10 ESV).

      My problems are numerous because I am human. Many can be traced, some easily, to things I have said (verbal, email, text and possibly some on social media) or things I have failed to say (we can dig our own grave by not speaking sometimes). For sure, our words are never neutral!

      If you don’t feel this message is relevant, you should leave now. I’m just kidding, but I encourage you to look at verse 2: “For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body.” This is a universal problem for mankind! The word “many” is the same word in the original language, translated as “abundant” in I Peter 1:3. It implies the “largest number,” as in the stars of the sky. Wow, that describes how I feel some days. It is as if I see how many different ways I can fail. Yet, I promise that what I say in words does not always reflect what my mind wants to communicate. For all of us whose mouths sometimes work faster than our brains, James is talking to us!

      The Bible has much to say about how we use our words, and it’s not all positive. While words have the power to heal, build up and encourage, they also have a destructive potential that can harm others, break relationships and leave lasting damage. Since I can’t deal with both, I will focus on the dark side tonight.

      In his letter to the early church, James offers a sobering warning about the power of the tongue. He describes it as a “restless evil” and “full of deadly poison.” With these words, he provides a clear picture of how dangerous our speech can be if we are not careful.

      Let’s explore three destructive ways the tongue can harm and a few practical ways we can guard against it.

I. Our Words Spread Negativity and Poison

      James 3:6 describes the tongue as a “world of evil” that “corrupts the whole body” and is “set on fire by Hell.” These are stark words. The tongue, though small, can spread poison. He uses three analogies — a bit in a horse’s mouth, a rudder on a ship and a spark that, if left unchecked, can set an entire forest on fire.

      A rudder can be 1/100 the size of a ship. The Royal Caribbean’s Icon of the Seas is the largest cruise ship in the world. The nearly 1,200-foot ship set sail in January 2024, accommodating 5,610 guests and 2,350 crew members. It is 20 stories high (240 feet), while the rudder is only 30 feet high and 20 feet wide.

      Consider how easily gossip, slander or a careless word can spread. “So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things” (James 3:5). The Greek word for small is “mikros,” from which we get our word “micro.” Great refers to what I previously described as the “largest number” or the “stars of the sky.” Therefore, the tongue is “micro" but possesses unlimited potential for harm. It’s no wonder some of us stay in trouble.

      Proverbs 16:27-28 warns us, “A scoundrel plots evil, and on their lips it is like a scorching fire. A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends.”

      These verses highlight the destructive nature of negative speech. A simple piece of gossip, an unkind word, or an angry outburst can start a fire that burns long after the words are spoken. I’m also pretty experienced with fire! I border on being a pyromaniac. I prepared a beautiful pyramid of logs for a fire on Halloween day. It had been so dry that nearly every county in Arkansas was under a burn ban. However, I knew it was supposed to rain, so I covered it with a tarp in anticipation of a big bonfire. It rained, but not enough to lift the burn ban. The next week, it poured for a day and a half. I uncovered the logs and enjoyed a great fire all by myself. It’s just very relaxing to me.

      We live in a world where information travels quickly, especially through social media. One negative comment or false rumor can reach thousands and destroy reputations, relationships and even entire communities.

      The tongue is a source of negativity that can corrupt an entire situation. When we speak in anger or harshness, we allow poison to flow from our lips, which can infect the hearts of those around us. Once the poison spreads, it is difficult to undo the damage. Words spoken in haste, out of bitterness or frustration, can leave deep wounds that are not easily healed.

II. Our Words Can Destroy Relationships

      The second destructive impact of the tongue is its ability to destroy relationships. Each of us has experienced, at one point or another, the pain of harsh words — whether we were the one who spoke them or the one who heard them. James 3:8 reminds us that “no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.” The tongue is dangerous because it can tear apart friendships, families, marriages and communities. Proverbs 18:21 says, “The tongue has the power of life and death!” This verse highlights how much power our words hold in relationships. Words can either build up or tear down. In moments of frustration or anger, we may lash out with words whose weight we don’t fully understand. Once those words are out, they cannot be taken back. If sent or posted electronically, they live forever. They leave scars, often much deeper than physical wounds. A harsh criticism, a thoughtless insult or even an uncontrolled outburst can sever bonds that took years to build. Words spoken in moments of anger can undermine love, create distance and even lead to broken relationships if not handled with care and humility.

      I wonder if you are thinking right now of some destructive, damaging, hateful, or threatening words spoken to you. I haven’t shared this publicly, but maybe only a couple of times because of the emotions involved. When I was in my early 20s and working as a night manager for Safeway in Memphis, my store was robbed. The short version of the story is that I was bound, with my hands behind my back and my legs tied. I will never forget the face of the robber, though I would like to. Nor can I wipe from my memory the words he said. One phrase that still evokes strong emotions is when he told me, “I only have one bullet in this gun, and it is for you.” Without sharing the details now, it suffices to say that the fact that I lived through it is only by the mercy and grace of God. That was in 1979, just before the term PTSD was recognized. But I can tell you it was a traumatic experience, one that haunts me to this day.

      How many friendships, families and even churches have been fractured because of gossip, misunderstandings or slanderous remarks? The tongue, left unchecked, becomes a weapon of destruction.

III. The Tongue Defiles Our Hearts

      Finally, the tongue is destructive because it reveals and defiles what is in our hearts. Jesus made it clear when he said, “For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of” (Matt. 12:34).

      When we speak, our words reflect what is going on in our hearts. Our speech is like a mirror that shows us the true condition of our inner being. If our hearts are filled with bitterness, anger, jealousy or pride, our words often reveal that. When those negative emotions find expression, they defile us and those around us.

      Jesus also said, “But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them. For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander” (Matt. 15:18-20).

      Our words do not merely come out of nowhere. They flow from the condition of our hearts. When we speak carelessly or in anger, we reveal the sin and brokenness within us. Proverbs 4:23 advises us, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

What Are We to Do?

      James 3 reminds us that “no human being can tame the tongue” alone. In other words, we cannot control our speech without God’s help. The good news is that God can transform our hearts and, in turn, our words. Here are a few practical steps to help us tame the tongue:

      • Surrender your heart to God. Since our words come from the heart, we begin with our hearts. If we want to change how we speak, we must allow God to change the condition of our hearts. Spend time in prayer, asking God to reveal any bitterness, anger, or unforgiveness in your heart and surrender it to Him. You may need some help with this.

         • Choose your words carefully. “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Prov. 15:1). We need to be intentional about our choice of words. When anger rises, let’s pause, pray and respond with grace and wisdom.

         • Always be kind and professional. In electronic communication that might appear confrontational, my policy is to type, wait, read, revise, pray, sleep, read again, revise, and then either send or delete. Remember, the person reading a text or email cannot hear your voice inflection or tone, nor can they read your body language or facial expressions.

         • Consider calling or, even better, having a face-to-face conversation. The fifth of the “Seven CBC Pillars of Strength” (an internal document) states, “Never use email (or text) to confront a co-worker or student. Cultivate more face-to-face communication. Think before speaking: “Is this how I would want to be confronted?”

         • Say less. That means listening and thinking more. Some of us talk too much. I’m guilty of that. Some of you, like me, are “fixers.” We are unrelenting in our quest to make every situation an open and shut case. I’ve learned that some people need time, and I admit that I have a hard time with that.

         • Express yourself — please! I need to speak less and listen more, but some of you also need to talk to us. Stonewalling is one of the enemy’s most vicious and destructive tools. Nothing good ever comes from it. You know who you are.

Conclusion

      On Jan. 27, 2022, CBC was targeted by a ransomware attack. The hostile takeover by an unknown group lasted five weeks — they infiltrated our system, taking over our servers, every computer, camera system, phones, electronic door locks and even some of our HVAC system controls (I wrote a detailed article about it for our annual newsletter (cbc.edu/newsletter). A man, referred to as the “Threat Actor” with a Middle Eastern accent, called me on my cell phone, demanding three million dollars in cryptocurrency in exchange for releasing control of our system. I can still hear the evil voice telling me, “We will destroy you, sell all your confidential information and you will have to close your doors.” When I asked him how he got my cell number, he replied, “I know everything about you, Mr. Kimbrow.” With help from the FBI, our insurance company, an IT network solutions firm, a cybersecurity negotiation expert and the grace of God, we avoided paying any ransom and returned to normal operations.

      The attorney from our insurance company advised me on what to say during the calls and how to respond to the threats. I think I strayed from that advice on the second call (I still have the recording) when I asked him if he had ever heard of an imprecatory prayer. He responded, “No, I have not.” I told him, “Look it up. It’s a prayer for harm, and I will be praying an imprecatory prayer as soon as we hang up.”

      I’m not sure which is worse — the armed robber, whose words are forever etched in my memory, or the Threat Actor whose face I will never see. One thing is certain: they cannot be erased.

      Our words can poison relationships, defile our hearts, and destroy lives. But with God’s help, we can learn to communicate effectively. It’s a lifelong battle in all relationships. We should focus more on speaking words that bring healing, peace and life.

      As we conclude tonight, let’s take a moment to reflect on the words we have spoken, the relationships we’ve damaged, and the healing God wants to bring. Let’s pray for transformation in our hearts so that our words might reflect His love, grace, and truth. May the words of our mouths and the meditations of our hearts be pleasing in His sight, now and forevermore.