Loving Your Spouse Well

Valentine’s Day 2022 is in the history books, but let me remind you that loving our spouses shouldn’t be relegated to just one day a year. It has to extend past the holidays and anniversaries. It is especially important for those of us in ministry to make sure that our spouses feel loved. We have to give so much of ourselves to those outside of our home that those in our homes should never doubt that care and concern.

Loving our spouses is also an issue of example. The students in our ministries need to see husbands and wives who genuinely care for one another. And trust me, students can tell if you are just putting on a show. They need to see that you have real affection for your spouse. For that to be evident, it must be developed. Am I an expert? No, but after nearly 30 years of marriage, I have learned a thing or two about loving my wife. Here are a few things that you can do to love your spouse in a deeper way.

• Pray for your spouse. In ministry, we pray for our church. We pray for our students. We pray for our lead pastor. If we are not careful, we will neglect to pray for our life partners. Make it a regular part of your routine.

• Listen to your spouse. My dad always advised me to ask my wife how her day went and to really listen. For those of us in ministry, we listen to people all the time. If we are married, there is one person that deserves our greatest attention. It is the one that we have made vows with. Use active listening skills if that will help you retain the information. Whatever it takes, know what is going on in your spouse’s life.

• Spend time with your spouse. There are a number of things that I will do in my life that I do simply because my wife wants me to be there. I don’t hold a grudge about any of them. I simply want to spend time with her. One of the greatest commodities that we have in this life is time. How we spend it shows what we find most important. My wife needs to know that I love and honor her above everything except God. So, I go to an occasional craft fair or antique shop. Are they my favorite things? No, but I am spending time with my favorite person.

For the thrifty, understand that none of these things cost money. You may want to buy an occasional gift especially if that is your spouse’s love language, but the best things in life don’t cost anything. The most important thing is to think of yourself less and more of the other person in your relationship. Living the selfless life is one of the most rewarding things that you can do. Love your spouse well and God will bless your ministry in bigger ways.