STUDENT MINISTRY: Winning and Losing

      This past Sunday evening, I watched Super Bowl 58 with much of the world. I’m a big football fan, but because of the day of the week most pro games are played, I don’t get to watch many NFL games during the regular season. In college, my buddy Mike Phillips introduced me to the pro game, and I became a Cowboys fan. That was easy during the 90s. The Cowboys, with Troy Aikman, Emmit Smith and Michael Irvin, were a force to be reckoned with.

      Living in Arkansas, we don’t have the option of supporting a local pro football team, so we all turn to places outside the state. Over the last several years, I started backing the Chiefs, especially as I have spent more time in Kansas City for school. Midwestern Seminary and Spurgeon College are hilarious in their support of the team, including the 12 Days of Chiefsmas. All in all, it is a lot of fun.

      While I was elated at the end of the game, I was struck by the different reactions on the field. Of course, there was joy as the Chiefs had won the most important game in professional football again. Many started asking, “What about next year? Can you win the elusive three-peat?” There was red and yellow confetti all over the place. There were hugs and kisses from spouses, children, siblings, teammates and even parents. It was fun to watch. However, that was only one side of the field.

      For the 49ers and their fans, the reaction was much different. There were hugs, but more out of consolation. It was an incredible game full of ups and downs, but you could see the pain and numbness of their players as they panned across their bench. There was no great celebration happening that evening for the 49ers. They had almost made it to the top of the mountain but didn’t reach the peak.

      That made me think about the students in our ministries — not whether they were rooting for Taylor’s boyfriend or the team on the West Coast, but how we encourage our students as they handle victories and losses in their lives. No matter how big the game is, at the end of the day, it is still just a game. Wins and losses aren’t just for those in sports, though. A student may lose out on an opportunity to be in a group because they failed during their tryout or simply didn’t have the talent to make it. Some of our students may have missed out on scholarships. Some will “win” and get the scholarship they dreamed of. While we can’t impact the outcome of our students’ wins and losses, we can help them see the right way to respond. What does that look like? What should we pour into them as they deal with their win/loss record? Here are some ideas to get you started:

         • Do everything as unto the Lord for His glory. Whatever they are involved in, whatever they shoot for, it should all be done in a manner that is God-honoring. The Bible tells us in Col. 3:23-24 (ESV) that “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.” Paul also writes in I Cor. 10:31, “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” If our students know this is their purpose, their losses may not sting as much because this is the real purpose of all they do — giving glory to God. In the movie Gladiator, Russell Crowe’s character, Maximus, said early on, “What we do in life echoes in eternity.” What we do here matters and should reflect our real purpose in life, bringing glory to God.

         • What did you learn from the experience? Win or lose, a good debrief is important. We should all take time to sit and ponder on what God has taught us through the process. Think about what Luke 2:19 (ESV) says, “But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart.” It was one of the greatest nights for mankind, and Mary got to be a part of it. After the events of the evening, she sat with them and pondered them in her heart. Both victories and losses teach us a great deal. God has something for us in both.

         • Our identity is not bound up in being a winner or a loser — it is found in Christ. Sometimes, it is easy to classify ourselves as losers or failures because our win/loss record is skewed in that direction. However, thinking we are winners because we are the champion can be just as detrimental. Our identity is most clear when we see where we stand in Christ. The scoreboard or resumé doesn’t define us. Our real identity is defined as either saved or unsaved. We are either “in Christ” or not. All the other things will pass away. Plaques, certificates and even trophies will all fall apart, but our relationship with Jesus will carry us into eternity.

      I remember helping my children through situations as they lost in one form or another over the years. It was never easy. You want them to succeed and experience victory, but that doesn’t always happen, so you prepare them for loss and victory. Help your students in the same way. Help them see what God thinks about our victories and losses and how we should handle them.

      The Chiefs came out on top this year. I know those in Kansas City are celebrating the win. You might be doing that as well. While that can be fun to celebrate and enjoy, the greater thing is to understand how God views the big and little victories in life. And as student ministry workers, we need to pass that information on to our students.