Take Care of Your Your Pastor's Spouse

Throughout my years of student ministry, I can tell you that my most important ministry partner has been my wife. Along the way, she has been my cheerleader, a SOAR sponsor, a small group leader and so much more. She has been able to connect with the girls in our ministries in ways that I couldn’t. While I think my wife is exceptional, I know of many student ministry workers that would brag about their spouses in a similar manner. They do so much for us as we serve and for our churches.

The youth pastor’s wife isn’t the lead pastor’s wife, so she will often be forgotten or ignored. My hope is that won’t be the case in your church. We need to love our lead pastors, staff members and their spouses. Let me encourage you to do some things for the wives of your staff members:

• Pray for them. Prayer is vital to every part of our Christian life. It does two things. One, it brings that person before the Father. We are asking God to work on their behalf and in their lives. Two, it brings that person to our own minds. When we pray for anyone, we think about them more and the needs in their lives. Praying changes us as we pray for the servants in our midst. 

• Brag on them. Words have power. When the opportunity arises, share words of affirmation with and about them. They often serve in the background. Help build them up.

• Share with them. There are any number of gifts you could give to the wives of staff members. Let me encourage you to get to know these women and find out the things they really like. Gift cards to coffee shops are great, but if they don’t care for coffee, it isn’t that great of a gift.

• Serve them. Many youth pastors have young children but may not have family close. One of the most powerful ways you could serve your youth pastor and his family is to provide childcare. There are other ways to serve them, but make sure that you do so out of love and leave any judgment behind. Their children are just children. There is nothing overtly spiritual about them just because they belong to the youth pastor.

• Don’t over-expect from them. Too often, we forget that we hired the staff member and not his family. We can press them to be involved and serve in ways that are well beyond the expectation of normal church members. That is what we need to avoid. We should never expect more out of the youth pastor’s wife than we do out of any other church member.

Expressing love toward the wives of your student ministry workers is powerful. It will bless them and you. Take time to love them.