STUDENT MINISTRY: Navigating Your Failures
None of us like to admit it, but those of us in ministry make mistakes and fail just as often as laypeople. In some ways, we have more opportunities to fail. Miscommunication, unmet expectations and general blunders can stack up if you are working with people. It is a simple reality of ministry life. The tricky part is when you don’t even realize you messed up. It is heartbreaking for me to fail the people I care about and have under my watch. However, it happens.
So, what do we do in those situations? No one may even accuse you of failing, but you know you have. How do we navigate our failures and mistakes in ministry? There are a few things I believe are vital in this process:
• Take a hard look at your mistake or failure. This is something that must be done with a humble spirit. We don’t want to start planning ways we can cover it up. Our goal should be to evaluate where the breakdown happened, determine how it can be avoided in future situations and decide if an apology is in order. An apology is the best way to mend a fractured relationship.
• Don’t continue to beat yourself up. Mistakes and failures happen. We are human. We will forget things we put on the calendar. We will forget to put things on the calendar. We won’t return a message or a phone call. We will miss a registration deadline. We will miss one of our student’s events. The list goes on and on when it comes to ways we can mess up in our ministries. It can also happen in our families. Seek forgiveness where needed and step back into the tasks the Lord has before you.
• Have an accountability partner. God created us for community. He puts people in our lives to help us navigate all sorts of issues including our mistakes and failures. Your partner may be a spouse. It may be another staff member. It may be a friend outside of your church. This person can be a sounding board as you talk about your shortcomings. This person can also help you determine whether or not your feelings of failure are valid.
• Learn from your mistakes. One of the worst things we can do as we fail is to not learn anything in the process. As a minister of the gospel, I am called to be a lifetime learner. That doesn’t just mean reading books and going to school. It means I must take the experiences I face and understand what God can show me in those moments. It has been said that “Those who don’t learn from their mistakes are doomed to repeat them.”
We are not perfect, and will make both big and small mistakes on the journey of life and ministry. Be ready to humbly accept your responsibility in these situations and grow in the process. If you are feeling like a failure and need someone to talk to, email me at info@StudentMinistryMatters.com and we can set up a time to talk.
101
Dan Carson
BMA Youth Department Director Dan Carson writes a weekly column titled, Student Ministry Matters, through which he inspires, challenges, and informs BMA of Arkansas churches and church staff about all things pertaining to student ministry.
Other posts by
Dan Carson
Contact author