STUDENT MINISTRY: The Worker and Family
As a student ministry worker, I know that my ministry would have been much less successful if it were not for my wife. Temple has been by my side for over 30 years of marriage and ministry. She has been invaluable as we have ministered to students in small and larger churches. She cares deeply for the young ladies in our ministry. She has also managed to be a great mom, get a counseling degree and become a leader in her area of expertise.
Balancing family and work is never easy. We often have to spend more time at our jobs than we do at home so we can afford the house our family lives in. The vocation of ministry and student ministry can be especially tough on families. Ball games, concerts, teen drama, late-night texts, conferences and lock-ins all pull us away from home and the people who live there. So, how do we navigate that balance? What can we do to make sure that as we invest in students, we don’t lose our families?
• Connect with your family spiritually. Those of us working with students need to realize that student ministry begins at home. We may repeat that truth to the parents in our ministry and encourage them to embrace that concept, but if we aren’t careful, it can just become words for us. Have spiritual conversations around the dinner table, pray together and read the Word together. You can even attend conferences together. Look for opportunities to make spiritual discussions and activities just a normal part of life for your household.
• Have dedicated family time. There are times in your ministry when family will have to take a back seat. There is no way around it. A student will have a real crisis that requires your time and attention. Someone will die, and you have to push other things out of the way. However, those are the exceptions. We need to look at our schedules and make choices that honor our family. Set time aside for day trips, vacations and even date nights. Don’t let just random things get in the way. Make these appointments on your schedule just like you would for any other important meeting. Your family will see that you are making them a priority in your life.
• Communicate well with your spouse and family. Communication is always important in your relationships, but it is extremely important in your home. Talk with your spouse about upcoming seasons of stress in the home and ministry. Talk about your children’s activities. Share when you are feeling overwhelmed. Allow your family the opportunity to express their frustrations with your ministry and even the church.
Talking was a big thing in our home. My poor children had a preacher and a counselor as Dad and Mom. Talking was always going to be important. When we moved churches during their high school years, we talked through it together as a family. It was not just a decision I handed down to the rest of the people living in my house. We needed to talk.
Another area of communication is just being sure that everyone is aware of the calendar demands for both family and the church. A shared digital calendar is a great way to work through some of these concerns.
• Include your family in ministry opportunities when possible. Take your children on home or hospital visits when appropriate. Bring them on a mission trip. If your spouse wants to serve in student ministry, great! If not, help them find another way to serve within the church. While your family isn’t on staff, it is important to include them as you serve the Lord together.
At the end of the day, finding a healthy balance between ministry and family is all about being intentional. Making small choices throughout the week will help ensure that your family doesn’t feel like they are always in second place.
Join the conversation at tiny.cc/SMMCommunity and let us know how you navigate this difficult area.
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Dan Carson
BMA Youth Department Director Dan Carson writes a weekly column titled, Student Ministry Matters, through which he inspires, challenges, and informs BMA of Arkansas churches and church staff about all things pertaining to student ministry.
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