STUDENT MINISTRY: Understand that Youth Ministry is Family Ministry
For years, student ministry has operated in its own silo within the church, separate from the church's ministry and the family. I’m not judging. It is just how we have approached student ministry for decades. The problem with this approach is that it leads to an endless cycle of short-term results. We love our students and provide them with excellent teaching and support. However, we must remember that we only have 1-3 hours each week out of 168. Their teachers spend more time with them. Their coaches and leaders of extracurricular activities have more opportunities than we do. Undeniably, their families have the most time with them. With that in mind, we need to approach student ministry not just as ministry to students but also to their families, especially their parents. If we can move beyond a “silo” mentality, we can make a greater impact on their lives, not just for today but for the years to come. We must partner with parents and support them as they seek to disciple their children.
In addition to benefiting our students, partnering with parents is an excellent way to extend your time in student ministry. Now, in my 50s, I work with students and families differently than I did in my early 20s. I have been married for 31 years and have adult children. (Honestly, it is still kinda weird to admit I have adult children.) I approach my partnership with parents in a much different way than when I was younger. My focus is much more pastoral as I work with the parents. I have experience, and our church families recognize that. What do you do when you lack the experience to rely on? What are some ways you can promote that partnership with your parents?
• Communicate well. I’m not referring to your preaching or teaching skills. I mean keeping your parents updated on the activities and intentions of the student ministry. Your parents need to grasp the “what” and “why” behind your choices. You have various ways to accomplish this, but ensure you're not merely handing a piece of paper to your students, as those rarely make it out of the youth room. Choose the communication method that works best for your families. Do they prefer email? Do they enjoy using Facebook? Is GroupMe an app that might be beneficial? Is texting sufficient?The key is to share information frequently and openly.
• Provide book recommendations. If you are younger, a book recommendation lets you offer helpful advice without personally stating it. The same applies to videos, podcasts and other materials produced by experts in the field. They can address a wide range of topics, from parenting to family discipleship and personal growth. The great thing about recommendations is that you can share them at any stage of ministry or life. The key is that you must continually read and learn to provide valuable recommendations.
• Bring in experts. No one has all the answers. Consider involving others in training sessions. These can include pastors, counselors or other successful parents. These sessions can address a wide variety of topics.
• Pray for your families. We often discuss praying for our students but don’t emphasize praying for their families enough. As the most influential units in a student’s life, it makes sense for us to pray for them. Are the parents believers? Does the family regularly attend church? Are the parents growing in their faith? These are important aspects to consider when you pray.
• Teach Biblical truths. As you teach and share, keep your instruction centered on the Bible. Timeless truths outweigh inexperience. Use phrases like "the Bible says” during your teaching. (This helps teach about family characteristics and other areas of life.) It is God’s Word that stands as our authority.
It is essential for us to recognize that youth and student ministry revolves around family. I have often said, “Youth ministry would be fantastic if it weren’t for the parents.” That is the wrong attitude. We should view it as a privilege to collaborate with parents and families as we strive to impact students for Christ. I hope you can grasp this lesson sooner rather than later. I didn’t take enough time to reflect on its implications during the early years of my ministry. If you want to extend your time in student ministry, learn how to serve both students and their families.
We’d love to hear how you minister to the families in your congregation. Join the conversation at facebook.com/groups/studentminsitrymatterscommunity.
101
Dan Carson
BMA Youth Department Director Dan Carson writes a weekly column titled, Student Ministry Matters, through which he inspires, challenges, and informs BMA of Arkansas churches and church staff about all things pertaining to student ministry.
Other posts by
Dan Carson
Contact author