WMA: First Impressions

By Jackie Ricks

Have you ever met someone and formed an immediate impression — whether good or bad — and then found out later that you were completely wrong? I have. Sometimes, that can get you in trouble or at least be embarrassing. I’ve even been known to cram both feet in my mouth and chew vigorously on an offhand comment that I shouldn’t have made if I’d just taken the time to evaluate the situation or get to know the people better or, most of all, listen to the Spirit’s prompting to keep my mouth shut!

What does this have to do with leaving a lasting legacy? At best, it can keep someone from seeing God in us as soon as they should. At worst, it could prevent someone, especially a casual acquaintance, from ever seeing God in us. Paul tells us to be “…an example of the believers in word, in conversation, in charity, in faith, in purity” (I Tim. 4:12). As we’ve all heard growing up and, I’m sure, passed on to our own children, it’s not enough to tell someone else how to act. We must show them by our own actions.

How are we an example in word? It matters what we say and how we say it. I never heard my mother say anything bad about someone, and I never knew cuss words until I was in college because we never heard them in our house! However, when my mother got Alzheimer’s, her personality changed. Thankfully, the care center workers already knew her and realized that the words she was saying were not really her, but the disease talking. On the other hand, I’ve known people who couldn’t say anything without cuss words and hurtful things coming out. No one really enjoyed being around those people. “Let the words of thy mouth, and the meditations of thy heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer” (Psalms 19:14).

The word “conversation” that Paul used above would likely be translated as “conduct” today. We’ve often heard that actions speak louder than words. That is especially true when it comes to our Christian lives. Our actions may be the only Bible someone “reads” because they won’t pick up the real thing or even listen to someone quote it. However, they can’t help but see a person’s actions. Have you ever known someone who so completely does the opposite of what they say that you no longer believe anything they say? That is definitely not the kind of lasting legacy that we should have as believers.

How can we be an example in charity? Besides meaning to help other people, the word charity also means love. Jesus tells us to love one another as much as we love ourselves. The only way to do that is to let the love of Christ show forth through us. We should always be kind and helpful whenever possible. We can always pray for others. Many people use that as a last resort when they can’t figure anything out on their own. It should be our first action. It’s such a blessing to have people reach out for prayer when they need something and an even bigger blessing to know that I can also reach out to them when I have a need in my life.

Many think faith simply means believing in Jesus Christ — saving faith. However, living faith is important in daily life. It’s living with faith daily, knowing that God will take care of every situation that takes away worry in life. Several years ago, a friend of mine had cancer. Just as she was about to hit the five-year mark and be declared cancer-free, it recurred with a vengeance. Cancer eventually spread throughout her whole body. During that time, we were raising both a son and younger grandchildren at the same time. When we would meet, she always asked how everything was going. I would proceed to tell her all my current woes before realizing that I hadn’t even asked about hers. She never acted like it bothered her. I usually came away ashamed that I had complained so much and would try to do better the next time. She had things so much worse than I did, but her faith was so strong that she didn’t worry about it. Every time she had a new scan and learned about a new area with cancer, she sent all of us friends an email telling us how blessed she was because of some small thing that was better or at least not worse. That friend left a great legacy of faith when she passed away. Although it’s been almost 20 years now, people still mention what great faith she had.

Finally, we cannot leave the kind of lasting legacy we should if we don’t live in purity as much as possible. We all have sin in our lives. However, we don’t have to continue doing what we know is wrong. We should correct our mistakes as soon as we can. Although it’s not a reason to sin, previous sin can sometimes help us understand where someone else is coming from and what they’re going through. We can then use our own experience to help see them through theirs. Most importantly, the less sin we have in our lives, the more likely we may help others do the same.

I have to work on not forming such immediate first impressions before learning what a person is really like. However, even more important is making sure that I am not doing something that could cause someone else to jump to the wrong impression about me. I might not have a second chance for them to see the truth. I want to leave a legacy that points others to Christ, not to myself. Pray that I will follow Paul’s advice to Timothy.

• Scripture — I Tim. 4:12; Psalms 19:14; Mark 12:28-31; II Cor. 5:7; James 4:8

• Prayer — “Lord, help me always to be the example that You would have me be. Keep me from jumping to conclusions based on first impressions and making bad first impressions myself. Most importantly, help me to do Your will at all times so that my legacy points others to You and not to myself or to the world. In Jesus’ name Amen.”

• Response — Check your own life. Do you jump to conclusions when making first impressions of other people? Could that cause problems in your relationships with others? What about your first impression on others? Do they see Christ in you, or will your life point them in the wrong direction? Assess yourself.

— These articles are shared via the National WMA web page blog that can be accessed at nationalwma.org/blogs.