WMA: I Didn't Sign Up For This!

By Kelly Williams

“But Mom, that is so not fair!” How many times, as mothers, do we hear these words from our children? I remember clearly Travis Plumlee saying, “Life is not fair. Fair is where you take your kids in the fall to ride the Ferris wheel.”

Have you ever thought, “Well this is not what I imagined my life would look like?” In less than two weeks, my husband, Ken, and I will be married 50 years. That boggles my mind! When Ken and I (as babies) got married, he was halfway through college and I had just graduated high school. We moved the next week to Fayetteville where he completed his degree to be a Vocational Agriculture teacher. I finished enough hours at the University of Arkansas to be able to go to work as a secretary. We settled into his first teaching job and found a solid church to join. We were the volunteer youth leaders for a wonderful church.

After four years of marriage, we were ready for children. We struggled for about a year to get pregnant, but then we were told we would soon add a child to our home. At that point, it seemed a good idea to move closer to our parents, so we returned to south Arkansas, and Ken went to work for Hudson Foods. He really did not think he wanted to continue teaching at that point. Pregnancy was not easy for me. I was sick every day (throwing up) until the day our son, Aaron, was born.

We had joined the church where I grew up when we returned to south Arkansas, and Ken began to be troubled about something. I knew there was something going on, but a few months later, he shared that God had called him to preach but he didn’t want to do it. My husband is basically a shy man. He was nervous to read in Sunday School when he was a teenager, and the other students were mostly his family. He just didn’t think he could stand up and preach in front of people. He went to the altar during the invitation nearly every service. He says he was trying to get God to leave him alone.

One Sunday night, Ken stepped out to go to the altar like he did so many times, but I knew this time was somehow different. I lost all strength in my legs and just had to sit down. He told our pastor that God had called him to preach, and he surrendered to the call. As a naïve, mother of two with the third on the way, I thought “Oh, how fun!” I’m going to be a preacher’s wife. Life was about to change!

A small BMA church north of the farm we lived on called Ken as their pastor. We drove over an hour and a half every Sunday morning with our son, age 3, and our daughter, Jessica, age 2, and our youngest daughter, Jennifer, coming soon. Things went very well for a couple of years. The people were so kind to us, and we learned so much about being the pastor’s family. Then our first ministry challenge came into our lives. The church had an annual call (they would vote every year whether to keep the pastor). One woman in the church collected as many people as she could find in an attempt to vote my husband out as pastor. The church was full that Sunday. Many of those people we had never met. Before the vote at the end of the service, Ken had me to take the kids and go to the car. I learned when he got in the car that the vote had been close, but he was still pastor. What a discouraging time! We were trying to serve those people and God allowed that to happen. I had a very hard time with that. Ken and I would talk, and he would tell me, you must forgive her. Oh, how I struggled with that. He would say, pray for her. I was not able to pray for her because I could not forgive her.

It wasn’t long before Ken resigned from that church and we were called to another BMA church in south Arkansas. At that church, God helped me to forgive the woman and move forward with our ministry. She later mailed us a letter asking for forgiveness.

There have been other hurts in the ministry. Ken has pastored six churches, and we planted a church in Algonquin, Ill., as we served as Interstate Missionaries for the BMAA. All these churches had their own joys and challenges.

We are all sinners! The church is full of sinners! The main thing I have learned throughout these years serving as a pastor’s wife is this — love them! Love them when they get upset, love them when they are discouraged and lash out, love them when they are acting unlovable. Because God loved us when we were totally unlovable, and I want to be like my Father, God.

I have learned that we are all on a journey, and not everyone is at the same place as me in their journey. Our journey may be like the country road that leads to my mother-in-law’s home. It is full of potholes and ruts. You have to slow way down and consider which way to steer the car around those potholes or you can do much damage to your car.

In life, we need to slow down and carefully consider how our words and actions can hurt others or help others. They can encourage or they can slander. They can build up or they can tear down. Psalms 19:14 says, “Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer.”

Perhaps your disappointments in life are because of choices you made. Our legacy will always have bumps in the road! Stay the course ladies! It is never too late to start your godly legacy again! We just have to immerse ourselves in His Word, ask for God’s forgiveness, forgive ourselves and pray continuously, especially when those bumps come along.

Prayer — “Father, I pray today for the pastor’s wives who are reading this article. I pray for the deacon’s wives who serve alongside their husbands. I pray that we will love like You love. Hold my tongue Lord when it needs to be quiet. Loose it when I need to speak for You. Slow my speech so that I might consider before I speak. In Your Son’s beautiful name, Amen.”

Scripture — Psa. 19:14; Prov. 31:26; Matt. 12:34